UNDERSTANDING
THE ANGER EMOTION

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Anger is Powerful

Anger is a very powerful emotion, and it can be used in positive  or negative  ways. It can lengthen or shorten our lives. It is like electricity. It can run large equipment or it can electrocute you.

Here are other  things you should  know about anger

Nature has developed the emotional state we call "anger" to help us stay alive. Anger sends signals to all parts of our body to help us fight or flee. It energizes us to prepare us for action. Many years ago we were threatened by wild animals who wanted to eat us. Now we more often feel threatened by other human beings, either psychologically or physically.

When we feel energized by anger, we might ask ourselves how we put this energy to the most productive use. As with the use of other forms of energy such as electricity or oil, we might want to use it efficiently, not wastefully.

Anger is a Secondary Emotion

A primary emotion is the one we feel first.  A secondary emotion is the one that flows from and comes after the first.

Before anger, we might feel afraid, attacked, offended, disrespected, forced, trapped, or pressured. These are primary emotions, and typically point to an unmet emotional need we have.  If the primary emotional feelings are intense enough, we move into a secondary emotional area - anger.  All too frequently, the transition is so quick that we never even identify the primary emotion which is at the root of anger.  All we know is "I am angry!"

The anger will remain unless we learn to identify what gave rise to it - fear, disrespect, pressure, etc.  Generally speaking, secondary feelings do not identify the unmet emotional need.  When all I can say is "I feel angry," neither I nor any one else knows what would help me feel better. A helpful technique, then, is to always identify the primary emotion and the unmet need to which it points.  This is the key to unlocking anger management.  It is necessary to identify the unfulfilled need and find ways to fulfill it or soothe yourself.

Anger Management